Xeni doesn't know what "freestyle" means. Probably thinks Neil Young pioneered the form, as well. Mashup mashup blah blah blah.

Man in an elaborate woman costume, Jokestress has decided all that discussion prior to her reading this site was wrong, and has decided to go ahead and edit the Xeni Jardin page herself.

I looked at the xenisucks.com site and was pretty underwhelmed by the quality of the content. Further, the site really doesn't seem to be that notable. Alexa has it at 270,000th or something like that. The "criticism" is basically one tepid potshot for each BoingBoing post made by this article's subject. If you are going to rant on someone for their "lameness," your rants better not be lame in comparison.

Or what? You'll edit the Wikipedia page? OH NOES!!!1111 LOL DONGS.

Three words, "Jokestress": NEW YORK TIMES.

Thus making his "new" record apparantly culturally relevant. Why else would this be "Directory of Wonderful Things-worthy"?

Neil Young hasn't put out a good record, oh, say, ever, though the bloated tard of a "songwriter" sure has the knack of taking credit for all sorts of innovation he had nothing to do with. All the comparisons made to Dylan are entirely appropriate in my book, since in my humble opinion, Dylan single-handedly ruined rock music by bringing the hippies over. Oh, if only all those jackasses were kept corralled in by A Mighty Wind-esque revival concerts...

Yeah, why don't we take a cue from them?

Oh wait, that's right. We're America. Pick your side of the border you want to stand on, Xeni. No sense in being a hypocrite.

EFF: Oh noes! You did comprehensive automated wiretaps on citizens in order to datamine who may be threats to our country!
Government: Yeah, so watcha gonna do about it?
EFF: We're gonna... sue you! We'll get the information from you!
Government: Darn, we'd love to share the info but it's a secret.
EFF: :(

Rarely-used defense? Didn't see that one coming, Xeni? You're an asshat.

If president Bush announced plans to send peacekeepers to Darfur a week ago would you be decrying it as a nefarious scheme today? Would you be the one blogging about how we should stop sending out military forces without getting the UN on our side?

For one thing, Angelina Jolie already beat you to the punch. For another, are you going to take that shit from a breeder?

Must be nice sitting on yoour ass in california getting paid to post emails that other people sent you. Keep raising the bar, Xeni.

JUST DON'T LET THE PATRIARCHY HOLD YOU DOWN, BUY THESE SHOES!

So, lemme get this straight; what hookers need is high tech shoes, not, say, some legitimate job skills that would get them away from the disease and rape occupational hazards of their profession? Hell, Xeni, they could always take their lack of skills and become, like, tech journalists/bloggers, right? Oh, wait; that'd mean more competition for you. Nevermind, then.

Alternately, a nice H&K USP .45 would cost a lot less than some fucking shoes with a GPS and radio transmitter in them, and the H&K is available *now*, rather than being some bullshit vaporwear to be sold "in the future". Further, with the USP .45, hookers could prevent themselves from being raped, beaten, or killed in the first place, rather than just providing a beacon for the police to come scrape up their body after the damage has already been done.

Just sayin'.

L for Lame. A for Another Unnecessary Mashup. L for Lost Childhood. M for Michael Jackson Had A Lost Childhood, Too. H for How Long Before Xeni Starts a Ranch and Gets Arrested for Molestation?

Too many makers of "mashups" go ahead and spend the time making things without ever bothering to ask, "Will this be funny when I'm done with it?"

File Under: More Weird Crap On YouTube. You know, it's been, what, a whole day since Cory posted a link to worth1000...

Therefore I support all of these immigrant rights marches because BUSHITLER is trying to take their rights away!!

I even included links so that students who want to skip school to support illegal immigrants can read their rights! "Dude, you mean I get to skip class? Hell yeah I'm Mexican..."


Today I hax0red the boingboing submission page for Xeni's BoingBoing UI. Take an insightful glimpse into what I found:

Please check all that apply:

Mock civil liberties threatened
ACLU involved
Stupidity regarding knitting
Relating to sex toys.
Contractual obligations (Promotional)
Vapid blogosphere posts
Self-promotional whoring
Shallow cultural awareness

You must meet two or more of the above criteria to submit
Submit to teh BoingBoing:

Xeni must be brushing up for her next NPR tech entry. Oh wait that one has already been done.

Please Xeni, if you want to take a ride down the chocolate highway then leave the motorcycles out of it.