Did they ever? I mean, besides Cory? "It's hard to write because I get distracted by teh intarweb." Then don't do it, dude. Nobody's going to miss your paranoid, pedestrian diatribes and post-teen-teenage angst, anyway.

One of these things is not like the others, which of these things does not belong? Truly a monument to the Mutual-Backscratch Society, not to mention the League of NPOV Wikipedians.

The word "wikipedians" doesn't sound nearly as retarded as the image it conjures up.

Pardon me if I am not thrilled by this, for this reason:

The Open Library combines links to open resources with information on in-copyright works and enables you and me to review, annotate, correct and convene.

I'm going to put this as plainly as possible: that is a stupid idea, and it will fail.

No hyperbole. No rant. I'm just that lazy about this entire thing. I care that much. But it's not that I don't love you, I just need some space.

And I think we should start seeing other people.

It's like a holiday in the Bay Area, since all the assholes are out of town at "Camp I'm OK, You're OK"(*). I mention this because it is my only tangential, and remotely at that, interest in this fascinating piece of top-notch journalism.

The "reader comment", though, reminded me that the "piece" about the Whole Foods CEO commenting on Wild Oats on a "message board" is a perfect example of the typical reactionary bias exhibit by the assclowns at boingboing. When somebody in some non-US country with non-US freedoms gets in trouble for looking at porn, assclowns are up in arms about Flickr's refusal to Join the Revolution and do what the users want them to do, rather than what the, say, shareholders want them to do. Yet, somehow, when an individual in a corporation says something public, regardless of how stupid it is, the verbage used to describe this is:

The CEO of Whole Foods spent a ton of time on Yahoo messageboards bashing the value of Wild Oats stock

Oh yeah? You're sure it was a "ton of time"? The case is closed already? The investigation is at a point where you can start stating shit like that as if it were fact? Where is the outrage about his right to "free speech" being trampled on by the FTC? Fuck that, where's basic fucking fact-checking? "Messageboards" is one word? Who "sez"?

Alright, peoples, it's dinner time. See how ending on a conversational note makes me seem pretty unprofessional?

(*) - Advanced apologies to LA reader friends who attend burning man. I'm sure not everyone there is an asshole. In fact, I would even be willing to believe that the majority of the attendees are not generally self-absorbed asshats, but I remain certain that of the percentage that are, most of them live in San Francisco, and are suffering from some sort of psychological distress as the result of childhood sexual abuse of some sort or another, or having not received sufficient attention from parents and friends in the small Southern or Midwestern towns they grew up in.

• Amateur journalist resorts to ad hominem when accused of being an amateur.
• Also, wiki.

Oh, wait; you mean there's no fucking point in posting things I just posted a couple fucking days ago? You mean that's fucking annoying? My bad. Here's two other things instead:

1) "OMFG, CAN U GUYZ BELIEVE THIS THING LOOKS LIKE TEH PENIS!11111!!!" Featuring the largest number of boring reader updates about other things that look like penises to them. Fascinating shit, if you're 4 years old. You know what else looks like a penis, Xeni? Penises. You remember penises, right?

2) What's the word for when someone you think is a douchebag fucks up and catches grief for it, publicly? Band manager, or pimp? Really, what's the fucking difference?

But we do.

Whoever asked for it, please feel free to populate it. There's pretty much nothing in it now, aside from the documentation.

Failed journalism student engages in ad hominem attacks on dude who wrote a book about how failed journalists think ad hominem attack pieces are actually journalism. Let's see, we've got:

1) obligatory, dated "zombies" reference
2) desire to "remix" book (read: treat as a mad-lib) instead of actually address anything in it
3) a disparaging remark about Keen's former business being a failure, which is hilarious when one considers Jardin's complete lack of any credentials in any field
4) a plug for herself, buried at the end of the piece
5) more boingboing backrubs for "Clay Shirky", whoever the hell he is supposed to be.

Really, though, it can all be summarized by this quote:

The core premise of Keen's book seems to be that conversational media is destroying culture, ruining the economy, and destroying the lives of "experts."

Heh, "experts" in quotes and "conversational media" from a blowhard who doesn't have the cajones to allow comments and deal with the frigtards you're so dedicated to preserving the wisdom and free speech of. I'm really not sure what's the funniest part of that.

Much as I'd love to post something, I'm in a hurry to catch the shuttle bus to Caltrain. So, instead, may I please draw your attention over here: our own Honorable Mssr. Quicksilver has been populating it with content, and you'll all be able to, too, if you send email to ohreally@mnslab.com. Tell me the username you want, and I'll mail you your password. Also, expect a couple of days' turnaround. I'll be doing this manually, keeping it real, and I'm pretty much going to be off teh intarwebs until Sunday night. Well, probably.

OK, people; go get your swerve on. It's fucking FRIDAY, yo.

"I decided to try out veganism a little over a week ago -- so far I feel great, and it's a lot easier than I thought." I'd add a snarky line about this, but it doesn't need one. Xeni did the heavy lifting by establishing her week-long expertise on the subject in the first line.

In case y'all forgot, Cory has a new book, and he also has a new book. Oh wait, that's the same book? You mean the same one that dude has posted at least an ad a day for for the last few weeks? Oh. Oh boy. Let's all go down to Barnes y Noble and stand in line for Cory's new book. Oh me? Well, I'll meet you there. I have some other stuff to do.

Can we stop automatically stating Bruce Schneier's speculation as fact?

Then, of course, there's the classic Frauenfelderian backtracking moment, which you all were kind enough to draw attention to already.

HEY U GUYZ, PHOTOSHOP CONTEST AT WORTH 1000!11111

Also, why does it not surprise me that this is the side Cory would be on, if he lived in the Star Wars universe? When I was in second grade, I rooted for the Rebel Alliance. Eventually, I grew up, and found myself in support of the Empire.

And now, the crowning awkward boingboing moment of the weekend:

"no sneaky running out into the Magic Kingdom and riding the Haunted Mansion in the nude!"

I don't know about all of you, but I'm creeped out now by the visual of that college dropout touching his own junk late at night, running around Disneyland in his Canuckistanian Birfday Suit.

And on that note, work awaits.

1) Looks like Cory's on the verge of catching the same bug someone else on that staff has, or maybe he's just been drinking Potomac water.

2) Shameless Xeni brown-nosing reveals that Battellah thinks 1) blogs should do more merchandising to be more like that other blog, "amazon.com". And 2) he also thinks what we all need are some extra pop-up windows. Both of these ideas are just plain retarded. Nevermind the conflict between this post and, say, the one posted right after it. It's funny, really; Xeni speculating about Google use is like homeless people speculating about mortgage rates.

So that's not two things, it's four. You are all grown-ups, you'll learn to deal with the disappointment over time. Well, you regular readers, at least.