"See also these previous BB posts about Kinkade's work, which always kinda makes me want to scrub out my eyes with bleach."

Kinda like what you did to your hair, resulting in the Mile-High Forehead, Cryptkeeper? I say go for it, bitch. GO FOR IT. Only shook motherfuckers like Forbes wouldn't have the proverbial balls to GO FOR IT. I'll even chip in 25 cents for a brush. Please, for the love of Allah, GO FOR IT.

Also, this just in: FEEBS is not shorthand for "FBI agents"; it is, in fact, not even a word, though it does appear a suffix appended to the name of a Windows virus. Tard.

As a journalist, same as me! None dare call it nepotism!

I can't help but wonder if Victor F. Ganzi knows the true nature of one of his underlings' new hires... I'm sure it's something he'd find fascinating to hear. Or maybe George B. Irish would like to know... It's not for me to say.

Then again, maybe we should all just be happy that another touched-junk former-street-urchin is off the streets. I mean, it's not like anyone reads the fucking Chronicle anyway. Circulation of 500,000 in a region with more than 2.5 million people? Whoa! Hold the presses! Provided regional grocery stores remain open, I can't see ever running that short on toilet paper, but whatever.

It's roundup time again, kiddos, but we've got a little lagnaippe (note the timely and esoteric New Orleansian reference there; I'm just that literate) for you today.

• "Directory of Wonderful Things" includes "some asshole driving around running people over in San Francisco." Pretty wonderful, I think we all have to admit. And please, nobody point out that the dude's name is pretty Islamic sounding. RACISM ISN'T WONDERFUL! Oh, wait... You mean Islam isn't a race? Guess I shouldn't have dropped out of junior high school, eh?
• OMFG, IT'S A PICTURE OF A WOMAN SITTING IN FRONT OF A HOUSE! Oh, the house is in New Orleans? I guess that makes this art, eh? Pretty wonderful. As usual, Xeni cranks out three whole words, two of which are the dude's proper name, before copying and pasting 3 of the 6 paragraphs from the blog entry. Where's the thanks to "Coop"? Are we to believe Xeni knows how to surf the web for crap by her lonesome? Yeah, right. Special Bonus: CONTAINS NON-SEQUITUR REFERENCE TO BURNING MAN! OMFG, YOU GUYS KNOW ABOUT BURNING MAN, RIGHT????111 Friggin' wonderful.
• This just in: people want a piece of Apple's iTunes Music Store Pie. Xeni is happy to give them free publicity... OR IS IT FREE? Any takers on how long before "SpiralMeningitisFrog" ads start popping up on "Federated Media" sites? 3:1 odds say less than a week. It's payola, people. Pay-fucking-ola. Call it whatever you want, that's what it is. Absolutely wonderful!
• Hey everybody, I know all sorts of cool weed terminology from the 1970s, back when I still peed standing up. I still have street cred, right? OMFG, DOOBIES! STONERZ! GANJA! 1983 called, they want their outdated phraseology back. Pass the dutchie on the left hand side, bitch. Also, pretty wonderful.
• What does "inappropriate" mean to you? To me, it means taking a national tragedy in which thousands of people died, and using it as an opportunity to "prank" someone. I mean, what's more wonderful than motherfuckers dying, right?
• And now, the piece d'resistance: OMFG, THE UK HAS DIFFERENT LAWS THAN US, AND SOME OF OUR COMPANIES (WHO MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE SNUBBED ME IN WRITING GIGS IN THE PAST) IS ACTUALLY TRYING TO MAKE SURE THEY ABIDE BY SOME OTHER COUNTRY'S LAW!~!1111

But fuck all that; let's talk about something else going on with the New York Times and our Darling Retard-Journalist Mashup, shall we? Thanks to an anonymous tipster, we have this:

http://syndicated.livejournal.com/boingboing_net/5857461.html

Oh, snap, that link doesn't work for you? Me either. Maybe this one:

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/boingboing/iBag/~3/17089561/nyt_strippers_dazzle.html

OH SHIT! THAT ONE IS GONE TOO? Wait, try this one:

http://www.boingboing.net/2006/08/28/nyt_strippers_dazzle.html

Well, well, well, whaddya know? It seems like Xeni decided to do pretty much exactly what Forbes did, which she then criticized them for "not having the balls" to stand by their story.

Want to know what she was prattling on about before she lost her balls and deleted her article? Yeah, I know. I don't either. However, here it is:

Xeni Jardin: An anonymous BoingBoing reader points us to what's either a technological breakthrough, a trompe l'oeil miracle, or some really crappy Photoshoppery: OK, so after the whole Adnan Hajj debacle (where the photojournalist used Photoshop (badly) to add extra smoke to images of bombed neighborhoods in Lebanon), you'd think that the NYT would be slightly more concerned about running obviously doctored photos. But apparently not. Hint : where does that microphone cable go to in that picture? I guess the bigger issue here is that things like this will continue to slip by a single NYT photo editor ... but will be caught by the millions-of-eyeballs available on the 'net. Chalk up another point for distributed editing?

Link. Image credited to Jim Wilson. Here's a copy, in case the live original goes dark.

http://www.nytimes.com/imagepages/2006/08/27/world/27morale2.html

http://boingboing.net/images/27morale2.650.jpg

Ahh, crappy "Journalismery". Hear it sing. Distributed editing, indeed.

Also, DRM.

Also, special-education-extra thanks to the anonymous tipster. Good eye, dude. Good eye.

OK, round-up time again. And yes, I know there were more. It's just hurting my brain
to even deal with reading all her flowery prose, so this is what you get today. Then
it's back to Drupal mucking, yo.

• Oh boy, it's "crazy letters to the editor of local papers, somewhere outside of LA". Hilarious. No, really, keep up the good work. Don't sweat it, nobody noticed that the only reason you posted this was because it had the word "penis" in it. Nobody's on to you, fucktard.
• OMFG, THERE WAS A PARADE IN PRAGUE.
• Blah blah blah, burning man, blah blah blah. Did I mention that Canadians like me? They totally do.
• OMFG, DID YOU KNOW THERE WERE MEXICAN WRESTLERS BEFORE JACK BLACK???
• When my friends do something with someone else's material, it's called a "mash-up". When people we don't know do it, it's called "ripping someone off".
• Hey everybody, that crap I already wrote about like 18 times? It's on the TV! LOOK MA, I'M ON TV!!@!1111
• In a twist of complexity, Xenu posts a link to someone else posting a link to crap "Coop" emailed them. So meta. So 2.0.
• Someone said "dildo" and "Xbox", good buddy Violent Blue has the details. As usual. Yawn.
• Whiny immigrant inconvenienced at the airport, kicks it up to martyr-level, constitutional right to wear t-shirts, blah blah blah. Funny how someone who lived in Iraq under Hussein would move here, then lose perspective on the importance of basic human rights, contorting them to include "wearing t-shirts at the airport". If we can't wear a t-shirt at the airport, then the terrorists have truly won! Fat white dude chimes in with "ME TOO", Xeni posts it as an update. News for morons, shit that doesn't matter.
• Sean Bonner sent me a link, but I don't have to time to factcheck it. Here it is, it's from some dude in a World of Warcraft forum, which, you have to admit, is a pretty reliable place to get your news. Even Bruce Schneier thinks so.
• Remember that crap I posted some time ago that nobody was interested in? Well, here's more on the subject.
• You guys are all cool enough to know about Burning Man, aren't you? I totally am! BURNING MAN 4-EVAR!

SOMEONE SAID VIDEO BLOGGAR!11 Violent Blue is pimping for some dude's defense fund because he won't turn a videotape to the feds of his friends misbehaving at the G8 protest from last summer. It's his intellectual property, after all! RESPECT HIS INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY!!!11.... oh, wait...

Hello, Irony. Good to see you again.

... which encourages men not to marry her, speculates on the intrinsic value of such writing in our modern times, dismisses them as sexist. Yet still passes everyone a link, so they can read it too. Which is, like, the exact definition of "wonderful thing!"

Doot. Doot. Doot.

Thanks for sharing, Jenny, thanks for sharing.

Warning: contains fractions of a pun, and 8,000 "reader" corrections, all pussyfooting around the fact that moron/journalist mash-up, Xeni Jardin, is still routinely amazed by what people can do with Photoshop. Welcome to 1993.

• Oh my god, sex. Yawn.
• The word 'zen' still doesn't mean what she thinks it means.
• She cranks out two whole paragraphs before pasting the "snip", then discovers Cory already wrote the entry a few times.
• Demonstrating her recent (and long-overdue) acquisition of collegiate knowledge from the Kathryn Cramer institute of foreign policy and security analysis by whining about having to take her shoes off at the airport. Oh, the white man's burden.
• Xeni gets email from a dude on the internet who searched Wikipedia for liquid explosive information, pastes the email, then strikes it out when someone else points out it was just plain wrong. Wikipedia citations yield yet another valuable research result, film at 11.
• I sometimes wonder if someone isn't getting paid to promote a film. Guess I'll have to wait for the Snakes on a Plane ads to pop up somewhere in the sparse BoingBoing ad field. And by "sparse" I mean "covering 75% of the page of a 'blog' that doesn't allow comments because the authors don't like being publicly called out for being fucking retarded". But that goes unsaid.
• OMFG, CHRISTIANS ARE BEING SO TOTALLY MEAN TO HEZBOLLAH!!111"They seem to have completely forgotten the very core of the Christian faith." Oh how quickly we forget the Knights Templar. Let me know when this Hagee dude stops talking shit and starts launching rockets into towns full of civilians. Until then, STFU, nobody cares.

I can totally see how the tagline "A Directory of Wonderful Things" applies to each and every one of those items. Thanks, Xeni! Awesome work! I'll hang it on the fridge, just like Daddy never did!

As a side note, progress is being made on the new site. Details as they emerge.

HEY D00DS, I HAVE ANOTHER BLOG WHICH I WILL NOW PIMP ON MY ONE BLOG THAT I SHARE WITH THESE DUDES, WHICH PAYS MY RENT, BECAUSE, LIKE, IT HAS ADS AND STUFF! ADS FROM COMPANIES WHOSE PRODUCTS WE PRAISE! IT'S LIKE PAYOLA, BUT IT'S TOTALLY LEGAL, CAUSE MY MAIN HOMEY JOHN BATTELLE SET UP, LIKE, THIS THIRD PARTY LLC, RIGHT, SO HE COLLECTS THE LOOT FROM THE COMPANIES, THEN HIS COMPANY, LIKE, TOTALLY HANDS THE MONEY TO US AT BOINGBOING! TOTALLY LEGAL, I TELL YA! OH, ALSO, DID YOU KNOW I'M ON THE FRIGGIN' RADIO! NPR REPRAZENTZ!21111 TERRACASTING!!!111

A hack in the Himalayas, indeed... It seems whoever she paid to write her term paper for her finally delivered. That's a whole lot of words for someone who can barely eek out a sentence before she copies and pastes. You know, and I'm just speculating here, it is almost as if she outsourced this whole thing to India. 1) Proximity. 2) Uncharacteristic verbosity. 3) Also, DRM.

Your sycophantesque, shoddily-written "liveblogging" of the Apple War Machine's evil DRM Crusade Propaganda Event sickens me to my core. Didn't you read the memo? All the cool kids, by which I mean me and Mark Pilgrim, who I am totally just as smart as, which is totally why I got kicked out of four different colleges, are way too cool for Apple and the Evil Empire. HOW MANY OPPRESSED PEOPLE MUST DIE BEFORE WE BAND TOGETHER AND FIGHT JOBSHITLAR????

Seriously, not cool, Xeni. How do you ever expect people to take me seriously as an artist if my own friends embrace my enemies?

Love,
Cory Doctorow

PS: Am I supposed to be bringing muffins to Mark's Straight Edge Party Like It's 1999 Brunch, because I think Batelle made that list, and he, like, totally has no clue that I cook about as good as I code. Which is to say I burn shit when I try to follow other people's recipes.