Because it's late, and I'm tired.

• I have no joke, I just like saying "he's far more entertaining than any of the business school professors I ever sat through".
• BUSHITLAR + BUTT + SEX == YAWN
• The Cryptkeeper accidentally posts something that, technically, could possibly be considered a "wonderful thing". Real motivation? OMFG, DRUGZ!!111four.
• This is where I'd lay in to the podcast, but, to tell the truth, life is too short to listen to the four stooges conference calling street-urchin-cum-mainstream-urinalist (looky looky, it's irony and a pun in one phrase!) to chit-chat about the Laughing Squid Reunion Tour '07, sponsored by Jason Calacanis and Tim O'Reilly, and how they all love that Brian Eno record they used to love 20 years ago before they all smoked too much dope and dropped out of college (or in Xeni's case, junior high school). Whatevs. So, sorry, but there's precisely a 0% chance I'll bother listening to a "boing boing podcast".

Alright people, the donuts aren't going to make themselves, so I bid you goodnight.

Oh, one more thing: I hereby predict that by the time I go to bed and the next time I bother checking the BoingBoing rss feed, she will have bitten down hard on this.

LIKE, FOREIGNERS HAVE SOME CRAZY NAMES!111

You can take the "girl" out of Virginia, but you can't take the Virginia out of the girl, I guess. And by "Virginia", of course, I mean "subtle racism".

I mean, it's been at least two or three days since one of us mentioned our weekly circle-jerk buddy, and guess what, he's making some shitty clichéd "art" again. Oh boy. Oh, wait, I mean he's writing about how he's making some shitty art. My bad, dude. Rock on, up with Satan, blah blah blah.

Self-important self-promotion of self-important self-promotional piece with possibly the shittiest zombie joke ever written, tagged on as an after-thought, more like it.

The fact that there's a project to make Marmaduke funny. And even less interesting than that? loser-cartoonist Mark Frowniefielder describing how Marmaduke isn't funny, and how there's some group of other losers who think it's funny to try to make Marmaduke funny.

Even less interesting? Why, Mark continuing to go on about Marmaduke, some 3 hours later.

And yes, I am aware of the inherent irony in writing a blog entry about a blog entry about Marmaduke, but I'm doing it anyway. This isn't a directory of wonderful things, after all. This is a directory of crap that sucks.

about how career women make poopy wives or some stuff, then they took it down, and then Xeni was all, "OMFG, STAND UP FOR YOURSELF, YOU SEXUAL OPPRESSOR-RETARD DUDE! I MEAN, IF YOU SAID SOMETHING STUPID, AT LEAST OWN UP TO IT!"? Then remember how Xeni posted something stupid, and she was all "OMFG, WHERE DOES THAT MIC CORD GO??? THIS IS TOTALLY A PHOTOSHOPPED PICTURE AND STUFF IN THE NEW YORK TIMES!!111", and then when it turned out she was just retarded she just removed the article and pretended it never happened, kind of EXACTLY like what she mocked the Forbes dude for writing?

Well, she did it again. To wit:
• LiveJournal feed
• the article she linked to
• the nerd she thanks
• But wait, where's the boingboing article?

Xeni Jardin: A plague of zombies has befallen a village near the border of Laos and northern Cambodia:

The culprit was discovered to be mosquitoes native to that region carrying a new strain of Malaria which thus far has a 100 percent mortality rate and kills victims in fewer than 2 days. After death, this parasite is able to restart the heart of its victim for up to two hours after the initial demise of the person where the individual behaves in extremely violent ways from what is believed to be a combination of brain damage and a chemical released into blood during resurrection.

Link -- http://65.127.124.62/south_asia/4483241.stm.htm

(thanks, http://www.grrl.com Bonnie )

April Fools' Day, from 2005. Nice work, Edwarda R. Moron!

And now, my thanks: thanks to everybody who sent email here about it. I would have totally missed this gem of journalistic integrity. Hopefully, there's a screen capture on the way, I'll update it when I get it.

Update: Additional thanks to some guy striving for truth and justice on the internet for the screen capture! I blurred out the sponsors, as I don't see any particular reason to do free advertising for Battelle.

Xeni can barely contain her desire to worship the man as a hero. Snip: (that's irony, bitch)

Posthumous online footprints like this often show up after highly-publicized violent crimes, and I usually don't post them. It seems morbid, like turning a killer into an online celebrity. But it's so strange to see what this self-obsessed sociopath documented of his life (he took tons of online quizzes, and dug Dave Chappelle, South Park, Conan O'Brien, and The Daily Show). So strange and troubling to see all the "rock on!" comments people wrote next to snaps he posted of himself preening with a CX4 Storm Semi-Automatic Carbine.

Hrmm, sounds familiar. If only I could think of someone who dug all those things and took pictures of themselves holding quasi-military small arms weaponry who wanted to be an online celebrity... Hrmmm, hrmm, hrmm.

Think I'm wrong about the hero worship? Consider the fact that Cryptkeeper wrote five paragraphs on the nutjob. When was the last time she wrote five paragraphs?

And now, in closing,

shows up on BitTorrent later that day. Who would have ever expected that?

Film at 11.

SNAKES ON A PLANE SNAKES ON A PLANE IF I HAD A NORMAL CHILDHOOD, I WOULD NOT FIND MYSELF DISCOVERING WATER BALLOONS SO LATE IN LIFE.

Hey Jenny, two weeks ago called; they want their funny TSA-overreaction jokes back.