Yeah, why don't we take a cue from them?

Oh wait, that's right. We're America. Pick your side of the border you want to stand on, Xeni. No sense in being a hypocrite.

EFF: Oh noes! You did comprehensive automated wiretaps on citizens in order to datamine who may be threats to our country!
Government: Yeah, so watcha gonna do about it?
EFF: We're gonna... sue you! We'll get the information from you!
Government: Darn, we'd love to share the info but it's a secret.
EFF: :(

Rarely-used defense? Didn't see that one coming, Xeni? You're an asshat.

If president Bush announced plans to send peacekeepers to Darfur a week ago would you be decrying it as a nefarious scheme today? Would you be the one blogging about how we should stop sending out military forces without getting the UN on our side?

For one thing, Angelina Jolie already beat you to the punch. For another, are you going to take that shit from a breeder?

Must be nice sitting on yoour ass in california getting paid to post emails that other people sent you. Keep raising the bar, Xeni.

JUST DON'T LET THE PATRIARCHY HOLD YOU DOWN, BUY THESE SHOES!

So, lemme get this straight; what hookers need is high tech shoes, not, say, some legitimate job skills that would get them away from the disease and rape occupational hazards of their profession? Hell, Xeni, they could always take their lack of skills and become, like, tech journalists/bloggers, right? Oh, wait; that'd mean more competition for you. Nevermind, then.

Alternately, a nice H&K USP .45 would cost a lot less than some fucking shoes with a GPS and radio transmitter in them, and the H&K is available *now*, rather than being some bullshit vaporwear to be sold "in the future". Further, with the USP .45, hookers could prevent themselves from being raped, beaten, or killed in the first place, rather than just providing a beacon for the police to come scrape up their body after the damage has already been done.

Just sayin'.

L for Lame. A for Another Unnecessary Mashup. L for Lost Childhood. M for Michael Jackson Had A Lost Childhood, Too. H for How Long Before Xeni Starts a Ranch and Gets Arrested for Molestation?

Too many makers of "mashups" go ahead and spend the time making things without ever bothering to ask, "Will this be funny when I'm done with it?"

File Under: More Weird Crap On YouTube. You know, it's been, what, a whole day since Cory posted a link to worth1000...

Therefore I support all of these immigrant rights marches because BUSHITLER is trying to take their rights away!!

I even included links so that students who want to skip school to support illegal immigrants can read their rights! "Dude, you mean I get to skip class? Hell yeah I'm Mexican..."


Today I hax0red the boingboing submission page for Xeni's BoingBoing UI. Take an insightful glimpse into what I found:

Please check all that apply:

Mock civil liberties threatened
ACLU involved
Stupidity regarding knitting
Relating to sex toys.
Contractual obligations (Promotional)
Vapid blogosphere posts
Self-promotional whoring
Shallow cultural awareness

You must meet two or more of the above criteria to submit
Submit to teh BoingBoing:

Xeni must be brushing up for her next NPR tech entry. Oh wait that one has already been done.

Please Xeni, if you want to take a ride down the chocolate highway then leave the motorcycles out of it.

"I damn near drowned in my own drool"

I'm starting to see a recurring theme here; in 1977, Xeni was too young for punk rock. In 2006, she's entirely too old to be drooling over HotWheels, even if they were designed by a friend of hers. HELLO, LOST CHILDHOOD! WHERE ARE YOU? ARE YOU UNDER THE BED??? DEAR JESUS, WHY DOES STEP-DADDY HIT ME???

FOR THE THIRD TIME.

Two things:
1) Who cares? It's the third reprinting of RE/Search's lamest book, all about culture from almost three decades ago.
2) Xeni was FOUR YEARS OLD in 1977. I guess that's why this seems blog-worthy to her; she couldn't friggin' read when the events in question took place, so it's all brand new to her. And, for that matter, her newbie fanboys and fanbois.

You may have noticed, say around Thursday night or so, an increased quality in the writing here at the #1 Xeni Jardin Parody Material Website on the ENTIRE FRIGGIN' INTERNET. Well, there's a good reason for that; I was out of town, and managed to persuade our own Mr. Quicksilver to fill in, and to be honest, he did a kickass job. Thusly, it is our proud pleasure to welcome Mr. Quicksilver to the permanent staff at xenisucks.com, as he has been so gracious as to accept such a position. Please take this opportunity to give Mr. Quicksilver a warm round of applause. Nobody gets paid here, as we're not in the business of selling ads, so it's very kind of him to share his talents, and likeness of mind, in order to provide chuckles for you, the disenfranchised-with-BoingBoing reader.

You should be able to tell his posts from mine fairly easily; his are the witty, well-written ones. Mine are the juvenile, sloppily-written ones.

Anyway, consider this an Official Welcome Message. Thanks, Mr. Quicksilver! It's an honor to have you with us!